Making Memories Despite the Mess

Picnic set up in front yard 

Making memories despite the mess…As a mother I think I know for myself it is so easy to get caught up with how my house looks like with the current state of bottles piled up in the sink, loads of laundry just sitting in the living room waiting to be put back in the closet and toys scattered through various parts of the home. That it can be a really easy trap to say don’t come over for other mom friends. I know at times I get easily situated in that position. I saw a quote though recently “Come over despite the mess, come over if your child is having a rough day, come over if you’re having a rough day.” 

Yesterday was one of those days for me. I planned to have a picnic with some of my close mom friend’s yesterday and it was one of the best days outside! We just got our fence done in the front yard and it was so nice to just have a picnic and enjoy the simplicity of the beauty of the day. Despite the house being mess but I had a thought that children are not going to remember how many piles of laundry I didn’t get to, or the dishes in the sink. They are going to remember the moments of laughter the moments of riding in a wagon in the field or giving the dogs their leftover hot dogs these are the moments.

Toddler E enjoying the Picnic 

Yesterday brought me so much joy as a Stay at Home mom I know it can get tough and lonely in various moments. What if I told you though parenting is so much easier when you have a friend there with you. My good friend Aseaba was talking to me about this yesterday about how yes you are multiplying the amount of kids but meet anyways. Moms were never meant to do this journey alone and I think so many SHM feel so alone, alone in the mess, alone in the long days of parenting and alone in their mind. However you are never alone there are moms that are going through the same things you are going through maybe even right down the street! 

Yesterday was a moment to breathe in the beauty of simplicity…Picnic, bubbles, wagon rides and children’s laughter just floating in the spring time air. It was so nice to just sit and talk with Aseaba. We chatted for about 2.5 hours yesterday and it was beautiful. I actually met Aseaba online in a local mom’s group on Facebook. We have been friend’s for about a year now and what a beautiful year it has been. I remember telling Aseaba when I was pregnant with Baby E how thrilled and overjoyed she was to hear the news! 

Baby E snoozing in the sunshine

We need friends as Stay at Home Moms, we need people who we can say “hey my house is a mess come on over, Hey you’re struggling today with the mom load come on over, hey your kid is going through a sleep regression come on over.” I never want my table to be closed I want my table to be full. I saw a beautiful quote years ago stating “if God has blessed you don’t build a taller fence build a longer table.” One of my closest friend’s when I lived in Washington State had 10 kids and I remember just going over there to just have coffee together among the chaos, I would bring my nanny jobs there for play dates all the time. The amount of joy from the kids would just be such a blessing to watch. 

That’s what I aspire to be as a mom. I want my home to be full of memories among the simplicity. We have a pretty simple home just a 2 bedroom 1 bath home, but we are blessed to have land we have 5 acres here and that is amazing. Kids don’t need a lot to have a good time, they don’t need elaborate houses or the latest greatest toys, they thrive with simplicity. Maybe as a reminder to us that we can also thrive in simplicity. Thriving in simplicity what does that look like to you? It is something I want to work on more something that I need more of in my life. Yesterday I was a so overwhelmed by the state of the inside of my house I struggled at times to be in the simple moments, the simple moments of that Toddler E played outside for almost 7 hours yesterday with no screen time, the simple moments that Baby E slept so peacefully in the sunshine, ,the simple moments of watching Aseaba’s 5 children just play all so greatly and the simple moments of watching the rainbow bubbles glisten in the sunlight. 

All the kids enjoying the picnic 

I encourage you to start finding your beautiful moments in simplicity, the laundry will always be there, the dishes will always be there but this day won’t always be there. You never know when a moment will become a memory until you look back on it. You never know what core memories your child will make in those simple moments. 

It is so easy to not open your home up I get it I have been there, but in the midst of chaos beauty can be found. Fellowship, invite and go be with other moms. You are not alone… 

If you need a friend come on over, if you need some place for your kids to run come on over…

“You can hold my hand

When you need to let go

I can be your mountain 

When you’re feeling valley-low

I can be your streetlight 

Showing you the way home 

You can hold my hand 

When you need to let go 

I want a house with a crowded table 

And a place by the fire for everyone 

Let us take on the world while we are young and able 

And bring us back together when the day is done.”

-The Highwomen -“Crowded Table”

You are welcomed at my table…

Pregnancy…Hey at Least We aren’t an Elephant!

 

Pregnant Dec 2023 with Baby E

Pregnancy is what I wanted to talk about tonight in my blog…As the title says hey at least we aren’t an elephant! Not sure if you knew this or not but elephants are pregnant for 2 years! I have been pregnant with both girls for a total of 18 months which completely blows my mind even think about it! 

You know I thought during both pregnancies I would be this magical unicorn prancing around the pregnancy glow but man was I wrong! There were definitely moments of joy with each pregnancy but I was one of the women that didn’t enjoy being pregnant. My second pregnancy with Baby E did go a lot smoother than my first with Toddler E. I wish I could go back and tell my first pregnancy the tools that would help me manage through those 9 months the first time! 

I wanted tonight to share some of my favorite things that I have found helpful with both my pregnancies that helped! Whether you are planning to have another baby or would like to share this with women you know in your life who are expecting to have another baby! 

No one prepared me for what quiet pregnancy would be like, it was definitely a roller coaster for sure a ride some might not want to do again and others that would ride that coaster again! Whichever coaster you choose is completely fine! 

*DISCLAIMER THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE,* 

Some of the products I want to share are by no means medical advice, if you have general questions I would talk to your Midwife or your OBGYN. 

So as some of you know my pregnancy with Toddler E was very hard on me I was throwing up from week 6-week 33 with her and that was some of the hardest times I have gone through, this time round with Baby E I found taking Nux Vomica 200ck was a life saver it is a homeopathic remedy and it was one of the few things that actually helped me to not throw up all the time! Another one of my morning sickness (more like all day sickness) remedies is ginger chew candies! I loved the lemon ginger one and the mango ginger ones. I will include most of the links if I can remember too haha full mom brain in swing. I mean with Toddler E I tried everything (medication, sea bands, peppermint oil, sour candy, everything under the sun.) I swear by the nux vomica it also helps things get going in your gut too if you get what I mean. 

Another thing I dealt with was Pelvic Girdle pain with both girls and let me tell you that is brutal but there is help and you don’t have to suffer alone! One thing that really helped me was wearing an SI belt for extra support ok you may look dorky walking around Target but it is truly a lifesaver! I got mine off Amazon and it did help. Another thing that did help with both my pregnancies was going to weekly chiropractic care and seeing a certified Webster chiropractor, it helps get you and baby both into ideal position for labor and delivery! If you are unsure reach out to me and I would love to help research a good provider in your area! Essential oils from revive helped too, I used sore no more, Courage and Lavender all the roll on my joints. I love Revive as they are as high of quality as Young Living or Doterra but more in my price line of spending at the moment. Along with the occasional bath did help too! One more thing before I move onto the next is sleeping with a pillow between your legs I got a body pillow from Target for $10 and honestly it was better than any pregnancy pillow I tried as I tried like 4 different pregnancy pillows and all returned to Amazon…

Now onto comfort honestly a majority of my pregnancies I lived in boxers and tank tops at home when I didn’t have to go out, but when I went out I wore boxers and tanks tops too… totally kidding lol I wish I could but nobody wants to see that haha. I found Old Navy has some amazing maternity pants and when I got further along I found these great yoga pants from Amazon that really accompanied my body type and they were so comfortable. Something I struggled with both pregnancies is realizing how beautiful body is I mean you are growing a human being!

Baby E still cooking 2023 sometime 

That is a part of you! So if you are feeling like a blob I want to encourage you are not a blob and your body is doing this beautiful miracle, although it doesn’t feel like it as you down another TUMS in the midst of your day. So take a breath put on your maternity pants and look in the Mirror and say “Thank you body for growing me a child I get to Love.”

Something that really helped with my stretch marks too or some people call them tiger stripes was my friend’s skin balm she home makes! I love this stuff I cannot rave about it enough!! I also use it on my daughters for cradle cap, diaper rash you name it! 

Now onto 2nd-3rd Trimester! Something I really want to encourage you with is start gathering support whatever that looks like for you! Really start to practice self care too! Because let me tell you sometimes your hormones lie to you! I know mine did for sure! Something that helped me tremendously was getting an inflatable pool ring and laying belly down for even a 30 minute nap or having my husband give me a massage it took so much pressure off of my back! 

Something I want to encourage you with too is start making peace for birth coming! Whatever that looks like for you! For me I made labor and delivery playlists as music is very critical to me. I also loved the Mama Natural Pregnancy Affirmation cards my husband actually read these to me while in labor with Baby E and they tremendously helped me! 

Again I want to emphasize this and I cannot emphasize this enough build yourself a village, whatever that village may look like, when I was pregnant with Toddler E it was hard as I just moved to Arkansas a year before that coming from Colorado where I left behind a lot of my closest friends and it was a very trying time for me. But I look back on giving birth this last February and my goodness I am so incredibly blessed to now have my small village but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world I have made some really close friendships this last year and I know at times how hard it is to put yourself out there but do it. You will not regret yes things might feel chaotic going into the unknown of motherhood but what if I told you, you don’t have to do this alone? There are moms that go and have the same thoughts you have.

Pregnant with Toddler E JAN 2023

You are enough, and you will make it through this. If I knew how critical support would have been with my first pregnancy I would have tried so much harder than I did even though I feel at times I don’t fit in or fit a specific mold. One of my closest friends now here in Arkansas showed up so much for me postpartum I remember just crying my eyes out thank the Lord that I now have 2 close friends I can rely on and trust whole heartily who we have even offered to baby sit each other’s kids which is so hard to find in today’s society. I wish I knew back then what I knew now and I wouldn’t have felt so alone postpartum in the midst of being a new mom. I saw a beautiful quote that I will stand by saying “that a baby will not remember who held them but a mother will always remember who held her postpartum,”. So I encourage you to start building your village you can have all the material, holistic, OBGYN prescribed things in the world to make your pregnancy easier but support is what makes postpartum capable to know you’re not alone. And you are not alone ever…Don’t ever believe that lie as many women have endured this journey before you and are enduring it now. 

So take this pregnancy journey one step at a time they don’t have to be giant steps and hey if all you can do today is get that Taco Bell craving for the 50th time this week or need another nap on the couch there is no judgement. Pregnancy is hard but it is 9 months, and then you can look back on it and say hey I endured 9 months! I hope this blog helped you in some way or form!! Feel free to share with whoever! Take care and bless you!  

Below are links below for things I mentioned! Again *NOT medical advice*

Nux Vomica (Helps with morning sickness and constipation)

Nux Vomica 200ck

Lemon Ginger Chews (Helped with Morning Sickness and Loved these during Labor)

Lemon Ginger Chews

Pregnancy Support Belt (Helped with Pelvic Girdle Pain) 

Pregnancy Belt

Essential Oils from Revive (you will have to search on their site -Courage, Sore No More, Lavender)

Essential Oils

Body Pillow (Helped my pelvic girdle pain at night!)

$10 Body Pillow

Old Navy Maternity Pants (So comfy!)

Old Navy Maternity Pants

Boxers I lived in (no joke I still live in them) 

Boxers

Amazon Maternity Shirts (Also so comfy!)

Comfy and Fashionable Shirts

These Yoga Pants I swear are made from silk worms! (Oh and they have pockets!)

I will forever wear these pants!

Great for taking a nap belly down! 

Pool Ring

Stretch Mark/ Everything Skin Balm! (I love all the ingredients in these!)

Skin Balm (I love how she donates to an orphanage in Uganda too!)

Affirmation Cards by Mama Natural (My husband read these to me in labor!)

Affirmation Cards

The Mountains of Motherhood.

 

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The mountains of motherhood what does that mean to you? I think the first words that come to my mind is adventure. I use to live in Colorado and the Rockies and their glorious splendor. 

I don’t know about you but motherhood doesn’t always feel like a glorious splendor. Sometimes it feels like chaos but there is beauty in the chaos. It’s those beautiful glimmers that reminds me of what truly matters in life. It’s not the dishes piled up in the sink or the endless loads of laundry that sit with their daunting stare. It is the moments of my toddler patting my knee when baby E is crying for hours on end, it is the moments of Big sister and baby E cuddling on the couch. It is the glimmers of motherhood we need to remember, when the mountains seem big. 

Never in my life would I have thought I would have two children in less than 2 years. There has been moments of tears and moments of laughter already. I remember the days I would pray for what I have now, a soul longing for children but that void would remain there until God was faithful to keep his promise as Psalm 113:9 says “He will give the barren woman children making her home happy and herself a joyful mother.” 

I know at times parts of motherhood doesn’t feel very joyful does it? But there is such a bigger purpose to motherhood, you’re handpicked to be your kids mother what a blessing that is in itself! I think we can get so lost in the mundane routines of motherhood that we forget there is purpose in what seems to be he mountains of each day. That the end of the day our children aren’t going to remember the piles of dishes, or the never ending story of laundry, or the diaper changes that will make you want to puke but rather how much we showed up for them that day. 

What mountain are you facing today in motherhood? 

I don’t know fully what this blog will hold but I figured the name, Motherhood, Messes and Making Memories. Here’s to the view that the Mountains of Motherhood will be! 

Be blessed!